Embracing the Weird

I have a policy in life, which I know often makes me look strange or unexpected to outsiders.

I like to call it embracing the weird.

At some point, I realised I was holding myself back from lots of things I enjoyed or wanted to do because….

Well, I realised I didn’t really have a good because, except that people might think I’m weird.

For example, a few weeks ago I baked a cake. There was no special occasion, no event, not even any guests coming over. We had the ingredients to hand, and I felt like baking and eating cake, so I did.

For a long time, I won’t have felt I was allowed to just bake a cake because I felt like it. For a long time, I lived in fear of doing the wrong thing, of being too different or weird or out of place.

Did you know that if you have a weird indoor cat and a courtyard and a lead, you can implement outside time for your cat? It’s true! Bonus: your toddler will shriek with joy as she chases the cat.

Over the last few years though, I’ve stopped worrying about what my life looks like from the outside as much. I realised that if I really believe God is the only judge, and he has set me free from sin and fear, I shouldn’t be living as though I am still enslaved to fear and I shouldn’t be living as though other people are my judge.

It turns out when you live like you are free, life is a lot more fun.

At this point I should stop and say a lot of credit for this change has come from being friends with Kamina. She has been a wonderful example of how to build a life that brings joy and includes lots of fun, while still serving Jesus and being generous to those around you. She even now runs a coaching business helping women do this!

Two notes here:

1.        I am not talking about situations where my actions hurt other people. We all know people who are insensitive or careless of people’s feelings, and label themselves as ‘just being honest’ or ‘being so quirky.’ We have a responsibility to be aware of our impact on those around us. But I am talking about those things that hurt no one, even if they might surprise some people. No one is harmed by me baking a cake just because.

2.        I am aware happiness is not the end all pursuit of the human life. I fully believe we as humans were made to glorify God and enjoy him forever. I just don’t think we do a good job glorifying him or enjoying him if we are stressed and miserable, and I don’t think enjoying him and the world he has made has to wait until we reach eternal life.

I think a life of service and of caring for others can combined perfectly with a life that embraces the weird. If we are regularly doing joyful things that we are enthusiastic about, how much more energy do we have to do good in the world around us? Better yet – finding the things we are enthusiastic about that DO good, and leaning into it is a great way to design a life that you enjoy AND aligns with your values.

I know ‘chasing your dreams’ is a bit of a cliché, and the reality is that a lot of dreams will always be out of reach for various reasons. My fantastical dream of owning a castle in Rome that doubles as a coffee shop and library with a huge play space for my daughter? Unlikely to come true. But my dreams of exploring old historic homes, making Christmas magical for my daughter and getting paid for my writing work? Well, it turns out some dreams you can just make true for yourself.

I’ve also benefitted a lot from seeing people around me who take this policy as well. Women who start that business, lean into that hobby and don’t apologise for planning fun adventures for themselves and their families. For these women, instead of always asking what is allowed, they ask what is possible and what is good.

I could say a lot more on this topic, and I probably will in future. But in summary: I’d rather be weird and happy doing my own thing to glorify God and enjoy him, than shaping myself into a cookie cutter mould of someone I am not, but who I think people want me to be.

What is something in your life you are doing to embrace the weird? What would you like to be doing if you weren’t afraid of people’s opinions?